What would you do if the hotel you just booked sent you this?
Thank you for choosing our hotel! Before your stay, we invite you to participate in a brief online orientation to educate you and your family on our recently developed Bacteria Avoidance Techniques™. Research has shown that the top three fears associated with hotel stays are a broken air conditioner, the temptation of the mini bar, and the possibility of sleeping amongst microscopic bacteria left behind by dozens of strangers. Unfortunately, there isn’t much that can be done for the first two stated, as you will have to call the front desk several times before your A/C is repaired, and you will nearly double your bill by indulging in the snacks available in your room. However, our newly released Step-by-Step Guide To Trying Really Really Hard To Avoid Contact With Hotel Bacteria offers a complete list of our Bacteria Avoidance Techniques™ and might help you overcome some of your anxiety just in time for your trip! It’s currently available for sale on our website, as well as on location in our gift shop.
Our first technique pulled from our highly regarded international best seller is ACCEPTANCE. Accept that you will come in contact with the fecal bacteria of previous guests, even if you never step foot inside the bathroom. So wash your hands regularly.
Our second recommended technique is KNOWLEDGE. Review our list below of the top five locations bacteria thrives in hotel rooms and use our suggested avoidance techniques to minimize interaction with any impurities. Note: You’ll notice the hotel’s bedspreads aren’t listed below. This is not due to the fact that they do not carry bacteria, but due to there being five other locations that carry more bacteria. The complete list of bacteria hot spots can be found in a copy of our Step-by-Step Guide To Trying Really Really Hard To Avoid Contact With Hotel Bacteria.